Batman: Murder and Wayne Manor (Bonus!)

Most (meaning all) of my bonus pasts have been regarding comic books, graphic novels, and manga (yes, there's a difference). This is a Batman book, but containing mostly word with a few side illustrations. However, this is still a really exciting book. You might think that Batman is always exciting, and you're right. Or, you might think that pictures are nice visual aids, and you're right. Or, you might think murder is cool, but you'd be horribly mistaken in that count.

No, the real reason I think this book is so awesome is that it is 'interactive'; Meaning, there are inserts in the books with different clues that Batman uses to solve the murder, such as an autopsy, a newspaper (with funny unnecessary articles), photographs, and many other tactile delights. For people like me who learn best using visual cues and tactical objects, this is an amazing book. I found myself skipping ahead in the book just to get to the next clue.

If you aren't a tactile enthusiast like I am, or a Batman fanatic like I am, then this will not be enjoyable. However, if you fall into either of those categories, then this is a really funny and interesting book.

Reservoir Dogs

Quentin Tarantino, well known for making Pulp Fiction, created a brilliant gangster film in 1992 called Reservoir Dogs. It has a simple enough premise of six men who rob a jewel store. However, it turns into a bloodbath when the police show up early, and the remained robbers realize that one of their number is a cop. Instead of focusing on the robbery, Tarantino (in his typical non-linear storytelling) delves into the nature of man, contrasting cowardice with bravery, logic with psychotic, and truth with lies.

Undoubtedly one of most gripping gangster movie created since the Sting, Reservoir Dogs contains a ridiculous amount of swearing and violence. Collectively, the characters use the word fuck 269 times in 99 minutes, meaning 2.71 uses per minute. If that isn’t impressive, then I don’t know what is. Furthermore, this movie to notable for it’s graphic depiction of a torture scene and the deaths of multiple characters. In holding to most gangster movies, everyone dies at the end, which is part of the reason it’s so awesome. The other reason it’s so awesome is its dialogue. Most of the reason I enjoy Tarantino movie is that fact that 75% of the dialogue has absolutely nothing to do with the plot or the characters. It’s mostly a clever commentary on current events from a completely different perspective that is nonetheless surprisingly accurate. But what really makes the movie so moving is the raw emotions that the extremely talented ensemble cast displays. From high to low, all the actors are unrivalled in their skill, especially Tim Roth, Harvey Keitel, and Michael Madsen.

At the end of the day, Reservoir Dogs is not appropriate for those weenies who can’t take a little vulgar language or extreme violence. However, if you revel in fascinating plotlines, amazing acting, and clever wordplay, than Quentin Tarantino is your man. If you like this movie, go watch anything else he’s made (Wikipedia to the rescue) or wander on over to Christopher Nolan.

A Series of Unfortunate Events

Lemony Snicket (pseudonym for Daniel Handler) is an investigator into the lives of three orphans, by the names of Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire. The Baudelaires, who are all reasonably attractive and intelligent, have several different talents, respectively: mechanical inventiveness, researching skills, and a love of biting that becomes a love of cooking. Through a Series of Unfortunate Events (like how I slipped that in there? Oo, SLIPPED?!), the Baudelaires parents tragically die in a fire, forcing them to live with a distant relative named Count Olaf. Count Olaf is a terrible actor who abuses the Baudelaires and forced them to serves his acting troupe in demeaning ways. Throughout the thirteen book series, the same basic pattern is repeated twelve times, with many variants.

Though the formula is repetitive, the formula is not the point of the series. The point of the series is to satire everything. And when I say everything, I do mean it. Snicket has the opportunity to satire almost every field of interest because a character represents almost every field of interest. Even aside from this, Snicket satires the general rules of narration, that a writer is not supposed to do certain things, or mention certain facts. Instead of distracting the reader from the story with lengthy interludes that have nothing to do with the plot, they draw the reader in even closer to the strange anachronistic world that the Baudelaires live in.

But, the word anachronistic brings me to my second point. Word choice. Lemony Snicket has an excellent vocabulary, and encourages readers to learn more words, defining them in funny and yet understandable ways. Not only does Snicket increase your vocabulary, it encourages children to become more interested in different fields of study and to become more specialized through further education. Snicket shows that evil is not always caused by idiocy. Rather, it is caused by the misuse of knowledge or lack of the desire for knowledge. Most of the side characters are viewed harshly because they are passive and do not fight the good fight, even if the actions will not change the results. Snicket proves that fighting is worth it from a moral standpoint, not from a utilitarian point of view.

In The End (get it? Eh? Eh? Okay, I’ll stop…), Lemony Snicket has a darkly satiric tone that is wonderful to read, particularly for adults. I’m not sure how children would be able to handle the dark and depressing atmosphere of the stories, but I’m sure that those in fifth grade and higher could handle it.

Fiddler on the Roof

Apparently I’m on a musical rampage. After I got off my Les Miserables kick last week, I jumped onto the Fiddler on the Roof wagon. For this musical, I actually know the plot because I’ve actually seen it. It’s about a poor Jew who needs to marry off his daughters while living in Eastern Europe and maintaining his religion’s traditions. During this time, there is increased aggression against Jews, but this is not a musical about European racism. Instead, this is about a father who must try to do what is right for his daughters’ happiness, but stay true to his God.

With beautiful and well-known music (Tradition, Matchmaker, If I were a Rich Man, etc.), Fiddler on the Roof is worth watching until the end. Also, it also dislikes needless reprises that would have otherwise gotten on my nerves. The music is perhaps not something to listen to repeatedly, but still worth enjoying a few times.

Claymore (Bonus!)

Claymore is a fantastical manga (comic book from Japan) about a warrior named Clare. She belongs to an organization of half-woman, half-monster warriors who fight against their full monster counterparts, those who seek to eat humans as prey. Because of this half-human status, the Claymores (called this because of their uniform weapon) have an abnormal appearance and varying abilities that allow them to fight the monsters. However, Clare befriends a young boy named Raki who follows Clare, which forces Clare to protect him on her missions. As the plot thickens, it is discovered that the organization that controls the Claymores is not entirely altruistic. Also, these half monster warriors have the unfortunate side effect of slowly turning into the monsters they fight.

This is not for everyone. If you like manga, then this is probably for you, but those unfamiliar with manga probably will not like it. Despite its beautiful art, it can be hard to follow due to the author's artistic style. Once the reader gets into it (approximately a half a volume in), the plot becomes extremely gripping and worth the time to read.

Darkman

Starring Liam Neeson and Frances MacDormand, I expected this movie to be clever, insightful, and a delight to watch.

Oh, how wrong I was.

Worse than Face-Off? Arguably. Total Recall? Maybe. The Fifth Element? Yes.

A horrifying bastard child of Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, a Korean knock-off of the Dark Knight, and the Phantom of the Opera without music. The plot is as follows: A scientist Payton (Liam Neeson) is tragically blown up for no real reason when his girlfriend Julie (Frances MacDormand) finds out about a bribe at her law firm. After that, some mad scientists find Liam in a river and without asking any questions do a dangerous experiment that makes Liam unable to feel pain and an uglier version of the Hulk (not the new one, the old one that made you want to die inside). From then on, Liam somehow magically starts switching faces and pretending to be various people to get revenge on the ones who did this to him.

All in all, this movie has more plot holes in it than a freshman boy’s gym socks. I must say, the best parts for me were the special effects. These special effects rival Plan Nine from Outer Space. Whenever Liam gets angry, little explosions happen in his eyes as his pupils dilate madly and he spurts fire from his eyes.

This is not a good movie, but it is a funny one. This is something to watch at 3 A.M. with your very drunk friends.

Les Miserables

This story has been told in almost every available media. Originally there was Victor Hugo’s lengthy novel, then into many films, and then into a musical adaptation. Unfortunately, I have not had the time to read the original novel, so I don’t actually have any clue what the plot is about. From my understanding based on Wikipedia, it’s about a man named Jean Valjean, who was imprisoned, set free, and then had some crazy shit happen. After that, it’s all rather vague. There’s some prostitute chick, who has like a daughter, and then there’s this guy who’s chasing them, and I really have no idea what I’m talking about here. Something about the French and revolution.

But, while I may be oblivious to the plot, I am not oblivious to good music. The songs are amazing. They are emotive, and contain such a depressing grandeur, that you actually want to sit through a long and confusing musical performance. They songs are catchy and memorable, but not in an irritating or obnoxious manner. While all the songs are fascinating, this music does fall victim to the trap of reprises. I am not a fan of reprises. I have already heard the song; I do not need to here a crappier version of what I heard twenty minutes ago.

Despite my neurosis, Claude-Michel Schönberg composed a beautiful collection of songs, most notably At the End of the Day, I Dreamed a Dream, Castle on a Cloud, Master of the House, Do You Hear the People Sing?, and On My Own. While the music is worth a listen, I remain unconvinced that the album is worth buying. Come to your own conclusions.

Sandman (Bonus!)

Excuse: The play I'm participating in is this week, so my life is no longer my own. No promises for Friday, but I will attempt further correspondence on Wednesday.

Neil Gaiman revolutionized the comic book industry with his Sandman series. A morbid series concerning Dream, a deified representation of the eternal Morpheus. Morpheus has been imprisoned for the last hundred years and, now that he has escaped, he seeks vengeance and to set his kingdom right. Because of his absence and repercussions it has had on his psyche, Dream must try and mend his relationships with those around him.

It this intriguingly different graphic novel series that can only be described as genius, Gaiman interacts with Shakespeare, urban legends, Nore mythology, and what eternity really means. Above and far beyond the excellence of Watchmen, I would rate Sandman as one of the more significant literary events to happen in the last twenty years.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is a book that has recently become more popular, due to a movie deal. While the movie was delightful (I like Mos Def), the book is far superior. The dialogue is extremely clever and humorous, and will always remain clever no matter how many times it is read. The concepts and ideas set forth are entirely unique to Douglas Adams, and are an accurate parody of both sci-fi, and modern times.

Adams employs the use of overly detailed descriptions that are unlike J. R. R. Tolkein in that they are both hilarious, and somewhat useful to the plot (if you wish to describe it as such). There doesn’t seem to be any over arching purpose in the novel, but that is not the point of the book. The book is meant as satire of humanity, particularly sci-fi, not for some grand purpose. It’s an easy read, perfect for the metro or bus after a bad day.

There are four sequels to the original, which are fairly amused, but not as genius as the first. Still if you really liked the first one, the others are worth the while for the occasional brilliant moment.

Queen

Ah, Queen… Proof that the seventies weren’t all bad. Close to all bad though. No matter how much good music I realize is from the seventies, as a collective, that decade sucked. Don’t even deny it. Big hair? Tight shiny pants? Verdict, no thank you.

I don’t really have to tell you that much about this band. They are widely acknowledged as the best thing England has produced since the Beatles (Magna Carta? Not important.). Aside from the frightening clothes and hair, Queen has got style, charisma, and, most importantly, versatility in their music. Most long-lived bands produce the same music with little variety, but Queen defies this trend. Despite, or perhaps because of, their long career and fame, Queen continued to make different sounds that still remained distinct to their group.

Another reason Queen will always remain close to my heart is because all of their songs seem to be two or three songs crammed together into one very long song. It’s always a joy to wait for the random transition to a seemingly different song within the same track. The piano/guitar riffs are catchy, and unlike modern popular bands, they actually have meaningful and interesting lyricism. Meaning, they don’t repeat the same word in the chorus over and over again, like saying the same thing continuously will somehow make it less obnoxious.

Moral of the story: Go refresh your memory of this band, they are just as awesome as you remember. Or, purchase a greatest hits collection.

Gran Torino

So. I have been away on sabbatical for the last month because I’ve had better things to do than update a blog that no one reads. Since my viewers have increased exponentially (as in three people read this now), I have decided to continue until next month.

Gran Torino has gotten quite a bit of media attention recently (and by recently I mean a few months ago). I attribute this to Clint Eastwood and his legendary badass standing. It doesn’t matter how old you are, once a badass, always a badass (see Chuck Norris, Steven Seagal). However, I confess I was slightly disappointed with this movie.

Because of all the hype I half expected it to be another The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. Sadly, no. Instead, I got a weird racist old man who hobbles around his house doing old man type activities, such as gardening and complaining about his neighbors. What I am given to understand is the plot of the movie is that Clint Eastwood (let’s be honest, Eastwood never has character names, he’s always Eastwood) tries to help his young Asian neighbor become a man and protect the boy and his sister from gang violence in the neighborhood.

While this may be the summary, nothing really happens the entire movie. Actually, that’s a slight exaggeration. Nothing INTERESTING happens the entire movie. Eastwood putters around and says racist things, people ignore his racism, he alienates his family, still not interested. I suppose this movie is meant to accentuate the differences in today’s society from the one that Eastwood’s character presumably grew up in, but that isn’t a message that people aren’t aware of. We all know the times have changed. This movie tries to show that we need to adapt to the multicultural nature of society while maintaining old society’s standards of honor, but this isn’t something new to the audience.

The most interesting thing in the movie is Eastwood’s Gran Torino. People just don’t make cars like they did in the 70’s. The car is meant as some sort of symbol for manhood and responsibility, but that really isn’t displayed in the movie at all. It seems like they just decided to add the car in because it looks cool (as good a reason as any).

That said, if you like slow movies where nothing meaningful or significant happens, go ahead and watch Gran Torino. If you are like me and want to watch something actually amusing, go and rent Dirty Harry or The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.

Diana Wynne Jones

One of my favorite childhood authors is Diana Wynne Jones. For many books you loved as a kid, when you go back to read them as an adult, you realize that the story isn’t as clever as you had thought at the time and that all sorts of subtle indoctrination are present everywhere (I’m talking to you, Philip Pullman and C. S. Lewis). However, Jones has the uncanny skill of remaining intriguing, despite the clear angle for children.

But I get ahead of myself. Jones is famous for writing the Chrestomanci series, Howl’s Moving Castle (and the sequels), the Derkholm books, as well as other assorted novels, my favorites being Archer’s Goon and the Homeward Bounders. Without fail, Jones has different but sympathetically flawed characters that emphasize a certain moral quality, or philosophical standpoint without preaching or trying to be deceptive. She clearly teaches tolerance for others who are different while maintaining firm morality. Most of her ideas are completely different from others of the same genre, and are amusing both to children and adults. If you enjoy simple seeming stories with complex solutions, than I encourage you/your children to pick up a Jones novel.

Yoko Kanno

Yoko Kanno originates from Japan and is well known to those familiar with anime as the composer for the justly popular series Cowboy Bebop. Yoko Kanno and her band the Seatbelts (because they jam so hard) have composed countless songs of every genre. Usually ‘every genre’ means country AND western, or at worst, crappy imitations of classic songs, but this does not. Kanno is one of the few, perhaps the only one, who can perform creative songs in opera, bebop jazz, blues, and many other styles, all uniquely hers. She also is the main pianist for the group, and it has been speculated that she is, secretly, one of her featured singers.

Aside from her fabulous composing skills, she also is a talented linguist. She is fluent in Japanese (duh), English, French, and Russian. Not only is she fluent in all these languages, she writes songs in these languages. She has a particularly special ability to select words in the various languages to form an emotive language that sounds beautiful and can be translated from these various languages.

There are so many different songs I want to recommend listening to, so I will try to limit myself. I would listen to Voices, Rain, Tank!, Inner Universe, Blue, and Green Bird. It is very rare to find someone this talented who is not pretentious or money grabbing, but this artist truly deserves you money.

Watchmen (Bonus!)

Because I suck at life, I was unable to post last Friday. Excuse 1, I needed to sleep due to the Watchmen primere the night before, Excuse 2, I wanted to watch Dollhouse, and Excuse 3, do not question your God.

Most of you are familiar with the new Watchmen movie, but I'm going to choose to ignore this film until a later date and instead focus on the original comic book. The graphic novel is gritty and realistic in such a way that you forget that the pretense is a little silly, you forget that none of this is real, and you are completely sucked into the implications of the text. The novel (and it is a novel) is entirely about how the phrase "Life is meaningless" actually affects humanity. If life is meaningless, than how should we behave? Watchmen is a character study about how different standpoints on life all ultimately lead the reader to the conclusion that if life is meaningless, than nothing matters, right and wrong are purposeless, and we only exist because of some freak chance beyond our control.

Camus' "The Stranger" personified existentialism, but Watchmen realizes what this means for humanity. If we, actual humans, truly believed as Meursault believed, then the actions of the Watchmn would be the terrifying results. I urge you, I implore you, read the comic book. Even if you don't like comics, you will like the depth and emotional resonance in this one.

Matchstick Men

This is a 2003 movie that really is not worth your time. “Why?” one might wonder. Two simple words: Nicolas Cage.

That’s right. ANOTHER Nicolas Cage movie. If you are vainly trying to remember this movie, don’t bother trying. Like all Cage movies, they are indistinguishable from one another except for what kind of ugly Cage is looking. It is utterly beyond me as to why Cage not only gets cast (the first mistake), but gets paid ridiculous sums of money. Now, when a genuinely good actor gets paid exurbanite amounts, I shut my yap like everyone else who paid money to see the movie, but when a poor, unattractive, generally irritating actor gets cast again, and again for the same role in different movies, it gets my goat. You might be wondering what the phrase “gets my goat” means and I have to admit, I have no idea.

Aside form the complete lack of any skill in this punitive actor, the rest of the cast is made of good actors who get into their characters in a believable fashion. However, since Cage is a soul-sucking maniac, his shallow performance takes the life out of every scene. One might suggest that the writers are the real criminals in this waste of your life, but that person would be wrong. The writing is decent, and the plot is intriguing enough. There are simply some ‘actors’ who are so terrible, everything they touch turns into an artistic travesty, despite high box office sales. Once again, if I, the supreme and mighty one, ruled this world, this nonsense would go unseen. However, since lesser minds are in control…

You don't need to hear a plot summary to know that you should not watch this movie. Do the right thing son. Stay away.

Regina Spektor

An unusual singer/songwriter (I hate that phrase), Regina Spektor is a Jewish girl from Soviet Russia, who immigrated to New York at a young age. However, she retains aspects of an odd Jewish/Russian accent that colors all of the lyrics in her songs, and the way she expresses herself. Well known for her odd vocal inflections and tonal sounds, Regina is deserving of the fame she is starting to achieve. Spektor has deep meaning in her piano driven music that is not about the typical topics most songwriters select (love, sex, money, beatin’ yo’ hoe). Or, if she does choose to speak on a common topic, she addresses it from a different perspective than most other people due to her unique upbringing. There are no stereotypical words to describe her style, other than beautiful.

Furthermore, Spektor uses intellectual stories for her music. There are many references to Biblical/Jewish history, as well as literary figures, such as Shakespeare, Sophocles, and Fitzgerald. This adds depth that most popular artist miserable fail to achieve. Spektor avoids the irritating idea that a chorus should be the same word repeated twenty hundred times (see every song Britney Spears has ever performed), and deviants from the standard pattern that most music on the radio has. For that, I appreciate her greatly.

Her albums are 11:11, Soviet Kitsch, and Begin to Hope. For those of you wondering, Kitsch means an inferior form of art, and 11:11 refers to a superstition that a wish will come true of you see the clock read 11:11. Some singles to sample if you like Spektor or not are Fidelity, Carbon Monoxide, Edit, and Samson.

Following

For those of you who are familiar with director Christopher Nolan (The Prestige, Memento, Batman Begins), you probably have never heard of this film. This is a low budget ($6,000!) film made by Nolan and his friends in England on weekends for a year. Told in a typical Nolan non-linear storyline, the movie is about a young unemployed writer who takes to following strangers to get ideas for a book. However, one of the men he is following notices this, and he entices the young man to join him when he robs an apartment. The man identifies himself as Cobb, and while they are in the apartment, Cobb shows that he isn’t so much concerned with stealing as seeing who a person really is, and destroying their personal items. The young man begins to emulate everything about Cobb (his appearance, mannerisms, etc.), and starts a relationship with a woman whose apartment he once broke into. When the young man finds out that her gangster boyfriend is blackmailing her, he makes a series of bad decisions that bring all the fragments of the story together.

Extremely well acted and edited, it’s difficult to remember that a major company did not produce this. The sequencing of the scenes is reminiscent of Nolan’s next movie, Memento, but more understandable from the start of the movie. There seems to be a growing trend among directors to edit their movies in a non-linear fashion (Quentin Tarantino, Richard Linklater, Gus Van Sant), which, because I’m nerdy, I think points towards postmodern trends. Nothing can be known for certain until the end of the movie, and even then the content is usually subject to the viewer's impressions. It’s the film neo-noir, where it’s all subject to your own interpretation. You can choose to believe whatever you want.

Since I doubt you’ll be able to find it at Blockbuster, I recommend getting this movie from NetFlix. It’s a short movie, but full of psychological insights that are common to other Nolan movies. Also, support independent movies! It’s through small movies that good directors and actors can be found.