Fiddler on the Roof

Apparently I’m on a musical rampage. After I got off my Les Miserables kick last week, I jumped onto the Fiddler on the Roof wagon. For this musical, I actually know the plot because I’ve actually seen it. It’s about a poor Jew who needs to marry off his daughters while living in Eastern Europe and maintaining his religion’s traditions. During this time, there is increased aggression against Jews, but this is not a musical about European racism. Instead, this is about a father who must try to do what is right for his daughters’ happiness, but stay true to his God.

With beautiful and well-known music (Tradition, Matchmaker, If I were a Rich Man, etc.), Fiddler on the Roof is worth watching until the end. Also, it also dislikes needless reprises that would have otherwise gotten on my nerves. The music is perhaps not something to listen to repeatedly, but still worth enjoying a few times.

Claymore (Bonus!)

Claymore is a fantastical manga (comic book from Japan) about a warrior named Clare. She belongs to an organization of half-woman, half-monster warriors who fight against their full monster counterparts, those who seek to eat humans as prey. Because of this half-human status, the Claymores (called this because of their uniform weapon) have an abnormal appearance and varying abilities that allow them to fight the monsters. However, Clare befriends a young boy named Raki who follows Clare, which forces Clare to protect him on her missions. As the plot thickens, it is discovered that the organization that controls the Claymores is not entirely altruistic. Also, these half monster warriors have the unfortunate side effect of slowly turning into the monsters they fight.

This is not for everyone. If you like manga, then this is probably for you, but those unfamiliar with manga probably will not like it. Despite its beautiful art, it can be hard to follow due to the author's artistic style. Once the reader gets into it (approximately a half a volume in), the plot becomes extremely gripping and worth the time to read.

Darkman

Starring Liam Neeson and Frances MacDormand, I expected this movie to be clever, insightful, and a delight to watch.

Oh, how wrong I was.

Worse than Face-Off? Arguably. Total Recall? Maybe. The Fifth Element? Yes.

A horrifying bastard child of Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, a Korean knock-off of the Dark Knight, and the Phantom of the Opera without music. The plot is as follows: A scientist Payton (Liam Neeson) is tragically blown up for no real reason when his girlfriend Julie (Frances MacDormand) finds out about a bribe at her law firm. After that, some mad scientists find Liam in a river and without asking any questions do a dangerous experiment that makes Liam unable to feel pain and an uglier version of the Hulk (not the new one, the old one that made you want to die inside). From then on, Liam somehow magically starts switching faces and pretending to be various people to get revenge on the ones who did this to him.

All in all, this movie has more plot holes in it than a freshman boy’s gym socks. I must say, the best parts for me were the special effects. These special effects rival Plan Nine from Outer Space. Whenever Liam gets angry, little explosions happen in his eyes as his pupils dilate madly and he spurts fire from his eyes.

This is not a good movie, but it is a funny one. This is something to watch at 3 A.M. with your very drunk friends.

Les Miserables

This story has been told in almost every available media. Originally there was Victor Hugo’s lengthy novel, then into many films, and then into a musical adaptation. Unfortunately, I have not had the time to read the original novel, so I don’t actually have any clue what the plot is about. From my understanding based on Wikipedia, it’s about a man named Jean Valjean, who was imprisoned, set free, and then had some crazy shit happen. After that, it’s all rather vague. There’s some prostitute chick, who has like a daughter, and then there’s this guy who’s chasing them, and I really have no idea what I’m talking about here. Something about the French and revolution.

But, while I may be oblivious to the plot, I am not oblivious to good music. The songs are amazing. They are emotive, and contain such a depressing grandeur, that you actually want to sit through a long and confusing musical performance. They songs are catchy and memorable, but not in an irritating or obnoxious manner. While all the songs are fascinating, this music does fall victim to the trap of reprises. I am not a fan of reprises. I have already heard the song; I do not need to here a crappier version of what I heard twenty minutes ago.

Despite my neurosis, Claude-Michel Schönberg composed a beautiful collection of songs, most notably At the End of the Day, I Dreamed a Dream, Castle on a Cloud, Master of the House, Do You Hear the People Sing?, and On My Own. While the music is worth a listen, I remain unconvinced that the album is worth buying. Come to your own conclusions.

Sandman (Bonus!)

Excuse: The play I'm participating in is this week, so my life is no longer my own. No promises for Friday, but I will attempt further correspondence on Wednesday.

Neil Gaiman revolutionized the comic book industry with his Sandman series. A morbid series concerning Dream, a deified representation of the eternal Morpheus. Morpheus has been imprisoned for the last hundred years and, now that he has escaped, he seeks vengeance and to set his kingdom right. Because of his absence and repercussions it has had on his psyche, Dream must try and mend his relationships with those around him.

It this intriguingly different graphic novel series that can only be described as genius, Gaiman interacts with Shakespeare, urban legends, Nore mythology, and what eternity really means. Above and far beyond the excellence of Watchmen, I would rate Sandman as one of the more significant literary events to happen in the last twenty years.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is a book that has recently become more popular, due to a movie deal. While the movie was delightful (I like Mos Def), the book is far superior. The dialogue is extremely clever and humorous, and will always remain clever no matter how many times it is read. The concepts and ideas set forth are entirely unique to Douglas Adams, and are an accurate parody of both sci-fi, and modern times.

Adams employs the use of overly detailed descriptions that are unlike J. R. R. Tolkein in that they are both hilarious, and somewhat useful to the plot (if you wish to describe it as such). There doesn’t seem to be any over arching purpose in the novel, but that is not the point of the book. The book is meant as satire of humanity, particularly sci-fi, not for some grand purpose. It’s an easy read, perfect for the metro or bus after a bad day.

There are four sequels to the original, which are fairly amused, but not as genius as the first. Still if you really liked the first one, the others are worth the while for the occasional brilliant moment.

Queen

Ah, Queen… Proof that the seventies weren’t all bad. Close to all bad though. No matter how much good music I realize is from the seventies, as a collective, that decade sucked. Don’t even deny it. Big hair? Tight shiny pants? Verdict, no thank you.

I don’t really have to tell you that much about this band. They are widely acknowledged as the best thing England has produced since the Beatles (Magna Carta? Not important.). Aside from the frightening clothes and hair, Queen has got style, charisma, and, most importantly, versatility in their music. Most long-lived bands produce the same music with little variety, but Queen defies this trend. Despite, or perhaps because of, their long career and fame, Queen continued to make different sounds that still remained distinct to their group.

Another reason Queen will always remain close to my heart is because all of their songs seem to be two or three songs crammed together into one very long song. It’s always a joy to wait for the random transition to a seemingly different song within the same track. The piano/guitar riffs are catchy, and unlike modern popular bands, they actually have meaningful and interesting lyricism. Meaning, they don’t repeat the same word in the chorus over and over again, like saying the same thing continuously will somehow make it less obnoxious.

Moral of the story: Go refresh your memory of this band, they are just as awesome as you remember. Or, purchase a greatest hits collection.

Gran Torino

So. I have been away on sabbatical for the last month because I’ve had better things to do than update a blog that no one reads. Since my viewers have increased exponentially (as in three people read this now), I have decided to continue until next month.

Gran Torino has gotten quite a bit of media attention recently (and by recently I mean a few months ago). I attribute this to Clint Eastwood and his legendary badass standing. It doesn’t matter how old you are, once a badass, always a badass (see Chuck Norris, Steven Seagal). However, I confess I was slightly disappointed with this movie.

Because of all the hype I half expected it to be another The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. Sadly, no. Instead, I got a weird racist old man who hobbles around his house doing old man type activities, such as gardening and complaining about his neighbors. What I am given to understand is the plot of the movie is that Clint Eastwood (let’s be honest, Eastwood never has character names, he’s always Eastwood) tries to help his young Asian neighbor become a man and protect the boy and his sister from gang violence in the neighborhood.

While this may be the summary, nothing really happens the entire movie. Actually, that’s a slight exaggeration. Nothing INTERESTING happens the entire movie. Eastwood putters around and says racist things, people ignore his racism, he alienates his family, still not interested. I suppose this movie is meant to accentuate the differences in today’s society from the one that Eastwood’s character presumably grew up in, but that isn’t a message that people aren’t aware of. We all know the times have changed. This movie tries to show that we need to adapt to the multicultural nature of society while maintaining old society’s standards of honor, but this isn’t something new to the audience.

The most interesting thing in the movie is Eastwood’s Gran Torino. People just don’t make cars like they did in the 70’s. The car is meant as some sort of symbol for manhood and responsibility, but that really isn’t displayed in the movie at all. It seems like they just decided to add the car in because it looks cool (as good a reason as any).

That said, if you like slow movies where nothing meaningful or significant happens, go ahead and watch Gran Torino. If you are like me and want to watch something actually amusing, go and rent Dirty Harry or The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.